| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|10:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I'm lonely. ;.; |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2006|10:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enthralled | ] |
I've never been as happy as I am now. Every time I look at him, I fall in love all over again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|07:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
I forgot I had a journal. Last post...October. Yup. Forgot I had it.
I miss my baby. ;.; |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|08:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I got Masa a wonderful present.
We're going to see Goblet of Fire on opening night.
I love you so much, honey. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|12:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
We're finally home. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|03:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
Masa.
You make me so unbelievably happy...
I'll love you forever. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2005|07:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | jubilant | ] |
| [ | music |
| | L'Arc～en～Ciel - 瞳の住人 | ] |
Masa...
I love you.
^^ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|01:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | globe - Can't Stop Fallin' in Love | ] |
OK. Seems to me that I can't care that someone's getting the shit knocked out of him all the time and treated horribly. And why is that? I'm concerned. I know I'm pretty much to blame for it, I feel bad, but things are different now. I'm not running back to him. I'm not going to stop it. He needs to learn that on his own. No one can fix it and make it better except for him.
Every time I went chasing after him, I lost myself, I hurt yo-baby, and I don't want to hurt any more people. I'm so happy with Rose. I feel like I can be myself with him. I can tell him anything and he doesn't judge me.
I knew it was over a long time ago, but I felt guilty at the thought of leaving him. But when we took that little vacation, I realised I couldn't do it anymore. Rose and I had gotten very close over those couple months and one thing lead to the other, and I don't regret my actions at all. As he held me last night, I knew this was right. I know I belong with him.
I just hope Masa realises what he's doing before it's too late.
Now I must stop hide from poking Yoshiki. For some reason we're supposed to leave him tied to the piano. I'll take Rose out somewhere until he's released. Looking at him makes me lose my appetite. |
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|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|02:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Smashing Pumpkins - To Forgive | ] |
Why do I feel like I've done something horrible? He says I haven't but...he won't talk to me. I want to help him. To understand him better and...
*sigh* |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2004|01:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
My therapist says I should stay away from you. For good.
But I can't do that. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2004|02:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alicia Keys - Fallin' | ] |
The more I listen to this song, the more I miss him.
I don't think there's anything I could ever do to convince you of how sorry I am.
Nothing I can ever do to make things like they used to be.
I'm sorry for ruining everything.
I'm sorry you hate me so much.
I'm sorry I'll never stop loving you. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2004|05:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | X - Phantom of Guilt | ] |
I never want to see you again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2004|09:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alicia Keys - Fallin' | ] |
Seems like all I do is make you cry and make you miserable.
I don't know what you expect me to do.
Unless I can be convinced otherwise, I'm leaving. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2004|12:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
Now I'm worrying that he thinks I'm a slut.
He's drunk now so I don't know if I should say anything to him.
God I don't want to screw this up. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|10:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  better | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cure - Why Can't I Be You? | ] |
Hmm. Apparently I have fangirls. I didn't get the memo. o_o Not that I mind or anything...It's...flattering.
The clone says I'm anorexic. *flicks her* Am not.
I guess I'm a little irritated with yo-baby cos it's like he didn't care about me being in the hospital. He never came to see me. That hurt. But at any rate, the marriage is annulled and I'm back with Masa. I guess I should have just hung on...and everything would have been ok, and I wouldn't have had to hurt yo-baby. I don't blame him if he hates me now, but I'm back where I belong.
Hahahahaha the clone went all @o@ over me in a corset. Hello comedy. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|08:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | LUNA SEA - I for You | ] |
*sigh* I need to come clean.
yo-baby and I are married.
Masa was right. I needed to find someone who would love me like I'd love them. I don't want to gush here, but, I am crazy about him.
I do want to still be friends, like Masa said. But anything more than that is impossible now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2004|03:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
It's so cold without you. I miss you. I need you.
I hope you'll come back to me. I want to smile again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2004|12:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
I want to die. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2004|01:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
I broke down and reactivated my journal. Like anyone cares.
I might just get a new one. Maybe like, meikyuu or something. Dunno.
I'm fucking sick. Went to the doctor, I can't smoke or drink or do anything strenuous till I can breathe again. He gave me some Allegra and albuteral or however you spell it. This shit makes me light headed. v.v
Masa's been avoiding me. I wish I had never said the things I said. But, I'm an idiot. |
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crackxyourself's journal